cute girl on the street: hey do you have the time?
me: sure do! 8:15
cute girl on the street: thanks
me: so what are we?
Everyone else in one day of summer: went to the moon, fell in love, traveled to france, met obama, kissed lance bass, starred in a porn, got a tattoo, rode a giraffe
also kids shouldnt be scared of their parents. theres a difference between “im not gonna do this bad thing because i respect my parents and i dont want to disappoint them” and “im not gonna do this bad thing because im scared of what my parents will do to me if i do”
Ahahahahaahahahahahaha this is why kids have no respect now a days.
safe sex is for losers (takes off knee pads and helmet)
I’m thankful for all the different ways I can eat potatoes